Most couples believe that a new relationship should be initiated with telling your lover all your previous love stories and how they ended, and telling them about how many partners you’ve exchanged and how far you’ve gone with each one of them. A new solid relationship that you make can’t be built on lies or mistrust can it? You have to start afresh with a clean slate. Right? Yes. So what are you doing to do, tell him about many partners your slept with? NO WAY!
Some things to consider about talking about your past partners
What you don’t understand is that although a strong bond is built on trust and truth, since honesty is the best policy (Oh alright) but that doesn’t mean that out of nowhere you just start telling your new lover about how many sex partners you’ve exchanged. Trust me its not so great being the person who’s about to sleep with a partner, when the partner starts telling you about all the sex he/she has had. Common sense!
You have no reason to just tell your partner about your dark past, so don’t bring it up! It will only make matters worse. What you did in the past is gone and done with, telling your new partner about it does not make any sense. But yes, if your partner DOES ask you directly about experiences you’ve had before and partner’s you’ve been with, THEN tell him/her the sincerely and honestly in a subtle tone of what you’ve been up to in your past.
Don’t mention the partners if you don’t have to
So the first rule is, DON’T bring it up. Let your partner bring it up. If your lover asks you about sex partners in the past, keep a subtle, direct tone. There’s no need to get excited and start narrating all you spicy stories. NO need at all! Imagine you’re a newscaster, and you’re reading out the basic headlines for this audience rather than being a descriptive storyteller. It helps.
Don’t feel bad about the past
Don’t feel sad or apologetic about it. There’s no need for that. Obviously, you both weren’t together when all of the sex in your past happened. So although you can tell your partner that you wish you could take it all away and that you would have turned back time if you could, don’t feel bad about yourself and don’t feel like you’re the evil villain in the story, the succubus or incubus (demon that has sex with sleeping women/men against their consent). You’re not! You’re just a regular person who had a balanced life before you met your partner, so boo hoo!In fact, being too apologetic or acting as if it was all your fault that you had sex with partners in your past could backfire on you. Your new partner might not have originally thought that it was a big deal, but since you’re making it sound like one by giving all those long explanations and being miserable about it, it will become a huge fuss and you’ll end up making a mountain out of a molehill.
Be cool about the past
Just act cool about it, and if, whenever, your partner brings up this question and you’ve got to answer it. Just let your partner know in the end that whatever happened is done and past, and you’re with them now. You won’t cheat, you’re not going to imagine being with someone else, and your new partner is the only one you love now. It’s a happy ending like in the fairy tales!
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