Family commitments can be pain in the ‘you-know-where’ and can cause a great deal of trouble if they are not dealt with in an appropriate manner. When dealing with a boyfriend’s family, you need to remember that these are people whom he loves as much as he loves you (unfortunately). So here are some tips that may help you out when you are trying to like your boyfriend’s family:
Figuring out how much your boyfriend cares for his family
Individual commitments to family vary from person to person and men can be surprisingly attached to their mothers, especially if they have been victims of spoiling and over indulgence in childhood. Beware of such men as they can be a handful when it comes to extricating them from the apron strings they have been tied to for so long. Not only are such men excessively devoted to their mothers, they can also display an unfortunate tendency to be controlled by them.
Making a good impression on the family
When you first meet your boyfriend’s family, you will be given an opportunity to make a first impression. This is your one time chance to impress his family with your special qualities that will either endear you to them or make them hang the garlic in the window prior to your next visit. When you meet the family for the first time; dress modestly. That is not to say you need to wear a Peter Pan collar and lace up shoes but wearing a dress that reveals too much cleavage and your purple hairspray is likely to cause a few raised eyebrows. Be sensible and try to be naturally friendly. Pay his mother compliments about her home and her cooking (whatever else you do, do not criticize the cooking – the place she will put you is somewhere you will never climb back from!)
Getting over your dislike for the family
Having made a good impression yourself, you may find your opinion of them is not up to scratch and you would rather not see much of them. This is a nonstarter because if you want to make a successful relationship with a man, you are going to have to accept his family to some degree. Put on your sense of humor and try to look at the situation for what it really is; a short period of time spent with people you don’t particularly like for the sake of someone else. Get over it.
Understanding the family
Take the time to get to know these people a little better before you start making sweeping judgements about them. They may be nervous about you and unsure of how to make themselves attractive to you. They may be worried that they will give you the wrong impression about your boyfriend and that insecurity might make them behave a little awkwardly when they are around you. Make some allowances. Take the trouble to ring his mother if you have enjoyed (or not as the case may be) a meal at her table. You will earn hundreds of gold stars and perhaps make her want to be friendlier toward you. Give yourself some time to adjust to new people, especially the boyfriend’s family. There must be some redeeming qualities in there somewhere you can relate to!
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