Losing your virginity or choosing to give your virginity away is a big decision in your life. You will remember this possibly forever. Also, it is recommended that you waiting until you are emotionally ready. Once you are truly emotionally ready, your body will take care of the rest. However, if you have already reached that point. There are a few things you can do to make the experience less uncomfortable.
Addressing the discomfort of your first time
First, sex should never be painful. Although, your first time may come with some slight discomfort. You should probably be physically and mentally prepared for this. However, the discomfort should only last a few moments with the actual breaking of the hymen (the barrier into your vagina). You should also be prepared for a slightly bloody discharge. This may be a little scary, but should not hurt at all.
Relax your mind
Second, (and this is very important) you will need to relax not only your body, but your mind as well. This is extremely important because the tension in your body and stress you are putting on yourself will actually cause your vaginal muscles to tighten. This can be one of the leading causes of pain with intercourse. Sometimes this stress can be relieved just through talking to your partner about your concerns. However, if you are nervous or embarrassed about this, a sensual massage can not only help to put you in the mood, but also release these stressors.
Be patient for your first time
Next, take your time. Although if both you and your partner are virgins, this may seem like an eternity, but this is a must. Explore each others bodies. Foreplay is an integral part of sex, especially for women. The appropriate amount of foreplay will provide the lubrication you will need for your partner to be able to slip painlessly in. However, if you are still experiencing some dryness and pain with penetration, you might also try a water-based lubricant, such as Slippery Stuff or the like. Many times it will actually be easier and less painful if your partner breaks your hymen prior to penetration. This can be done through “fingering” during foreplay.
Find the right sex position
You should also take into consideration certain positions may be painful at first. Deep penetrating positions can be the most uncomfortable. So to avoid this, you may want to try a standard missionary position or a woman-on-top position. This will allow you some control as to how deep or shallow the thrusting is and may just make you overall more comfortable.
Sometimes a quickie is a good thing
Don’t be embarrassed if your first time is a “quickie” either, especially if both you and your partner are virgins. This is very common. Also, if you have a lot of pain with sex, you may need to consult a doctor, before trying again as there may be a medical problem . Also, you should be surprised if the first time is somewhat bad. With practice, it does get better. Finally, sex is meant to give you pleasure not pain. So, relax and have fun!
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