My husband and I separated some months ago. We're best friends and I'm still in love with him; I know he still has feelings for me too. We still live together because we can't afford it; but we really enjoy living together. We also share two cats that are like our children and we don't want to actually split the two of them up right now. It was tough for him when we first broke up because I dated a couple of guys and had sex with one of them. He was really understanding, though he was insulting to one of the guys I was dating at the time. Now, we're living together in a new place and he's seeing someone. They've been together for a few weeks now and he seems happy but for the past few weeks I've become very attached to him, forming the connections that brought us together. Even when he brings his gf over, I try my best to be nice. But, I end up just sounding bitter and seeming unfriendly. I don't mean to; I want to be understanding. But, I don't want to lose my husband and best friend. How do I reconcile these feelings so we can all move forward? There's a good chance he'll want to keep seeing this girl; she sounds perfect for him (which pisses me off). How can I deal with this new change?
2 Replies
Sexnthecity2000 / Woman / Likes Men / Single
I understand finances are tight, but living together and being in each other’s new lives is blurring the lines way too much for any forward movement. Are you having these feelings of wanting to get back with your husband because you truly miss him and realize you made a mistake, or just having regrets because you don’t want to picture him with a new (and nice) woman? If you are sure you made a mistake and you want to give things another try, you need to talk to your husband and see if he feels the same way. Either way, I would suggest counseling for both of you; you are going through major life changes, and if you decide to stay together or split up, a third-party can help you through this time.
If you decide to remain separated, you MUST find new housing—even if it is living with a friend. It is too hard to try and heal your heart when you have to see your ex and his new relationship. While you are figuring out the housing situation, it might be helpful if you both don't invite your new relationships into your house, or in front of the other.
Sexnthecity2000 / Woman / Likes Men / Single
I understand finances are tight, but living together and being in each other’s new lives is blurring the lines way too much for any forward movement. Are you having these feelings of wanting to get back with your husband because you truly miss him and realize you made a mistake, or just having regrets because you don’t want to picture him with a new (and nice) woman? If you are sure you made a mistake and you want to give things another try, you need to talk to your husband and see if he feels the same way. Either way, I would suggest counseling for both of you; you are going through major life changes, and if you decide to stay together or split up, a third-party can help you through this time.
If you decide to remain separated, you MUST find new housing—even if it is living with a friend. It is too hard to try and heal your heart when you have to see your ex and his new relationship. While you are figuring out the housing situation, it might be helpful if you both don't invite your new relationships into your house, or in front of the other.
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