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I'm The Better Option
Question Asked by Dianne about 1 year ago - [ Ask a Question ]
I met a guy in a bar not too long ago and we really hit it off. We jumped into bed almost instantly and at the start we met on a daily basis. Later on, he told me he was married which did not bother me one bit. I see the two of us as having a good time and I would just like more. This seems to be a problem because lately he has changed our rendezvous times to a once a week basis. I realize he has a family and all but he is a completely different guy when he is with me. He is happy and carefree and full of life. When he talks about his family he is withdrawn and sullen. What can I do to get him to realize he has found something special with me and he needs to give US a chance?
Answer
This seems like a tricky situation for you; but let's come to terms with the reality that despite the lovely times you shared with this man, he's made a commitment to a wife and child. Although he doesn't seem to enjoy this role, it's one that he has to play. So, realize that if you do decide to move forward in the relationship, you are going to have to compromise your time. If it does become serious, or if he is looking for someone serious, then you may have to eventually meet the wife and kids. Are you prepared for that? Another reality is that while you and he may hit it off and he seems to enjoy your company, his behavior does not reflect one of a man whose ready to commit to you. He has to meet you in different rendezvous points like you're spies - does this mean that he's hiding this from his wife? All of these actions dictate a guy who isn't ready to leave his home but wants to explore his wild side, which is why you're there. If you want to move to something serious, then you need to be honest with him right away. Don't wait and see if everything will work out because eventually your feelings will develop for a man who can't seem to commit himself to anyone (including his wife). So, let him know you're ready to take it to the next level and see what his response is.
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by missyb about 1 year ago
As much as you say it doesn't bother you that he is married, you're only kidding yourself. You need to snap out of your denial and move on right away! You may be the better option, but its a lot more difficult for him to end his marriage and share custody of his children with his wife, than it is for him to just dump you, no strings attached.
I suggest you leave him and find someone who is ONLY with you and no one else. You deserve to have someone that can provide the attention you need and desire, not when he can squeeze you in behind his wife's back! Find something special with someone else who can appreciate you and you only!