I think I have been too stressed as of late to enjoy sex so, my bf wants to spice things up. I am too scared to try new things because I refuse to enjoy them. I ruin my chances of enjoying sex by thinking of some terrible things, putting myself down, or just basically making up my mind that I wont enjoy it and talk myself out of doing it.
I try to find the reasons behind this draining of energy and desire. Is it stress outside of the home? Am I not attracted to him anymore? Do we spend to much time together? Does he move too fast? Am I just too self concious about my body and performance?
How do I work on these things, and how do I become more open to trying new things and feeling arroused again?
We have been together for 2 years and have been having great sex for just as long. I have had bad sexual experiences in my past but he has help me work past them alot. I love him very much. I am 21 and he is 24.
-Heather
7 Replies
Bian / 27 / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship
By what you wrote, you must love him really much :) That’s good since it’s gonna be your energy and also your solution in this case. First, don’t worry and stress yourself out, a lot of women also temporarily loses sexual interest in some phrases. It’s just normal for both men and women to lose their sex drive sometimes. It might be because of stress, depression or physical-related stuffs like hormones, etc.
Try to boost your mood up by doing stuffs that you love. It’s not only sex that connects couples :) You guys can go watch a movie, go travel somewhere, cooking together …, try to boost up the connection by non-sexual way. Emotional closeness can sometimes help things better.
If you feel losing interest in sex because you guys do it the same way all the time, then the only obstacle is yourself. Try to think how much you love him, and that it’s going to be fine. Think positively about new stuffs that you guys want to try, think of it as great fun. For that, you can read what people said about those new stuffs to re-assure yourself.
Anyway, the thing that I think you MUST do is to be honest with him. Telling him your problem, and be open about that. That way you guys can solve it together. Don’t try to hide it because it can stress you out and make him feel bad since you avoid trying new stuffs with him. If you’re scared of hurting him, just be sure to always tell him that you really love him, and that’s why you want to tell him, to work things out together.
Andy ( Giggity Giggity Goo) · + 1
Wec4ever (any Girls/ts Slave) · bian bian never disppoints :)
Bian · :))
Andy ( Giggity Giggity Goo) · Who?
Andy ( Giggity Giggity Goo) · Oh, ha ha.
Andy / 27 / Man / Likes Women / Just looking
Your previous bad experiences may be behind your troubles, and you may consider seeing a shrink about trying to resolve those issues for you to move forward with your life, including your love life. Body issues, avoidance of intimacy etc. are symptoms of bad/abusive sexual experiences previously in your life.
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