One of the most dreaded days in a parent’s life is the day that your child brings home their date. However, this doesn’t have to be that way. This is a new adventure for you and your child and should be treated that way. Here are a few tips to help you through what could be an awkward situation.
Be prepared
Ask as many questions as you can about this particular boy/girl. Talk to your child about his/her prospective date. Find out his/her hobbies, interests, and profession. Take and interest in this person, after all your child has. Try to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for whoever may walk through your door. This can be better handled with the appropriate amount of information. Also, make sure you have the appropriate amount of time to spend with your child and this person.
Be open and honest about dating
When talking to your child about his/her prospective date, be open and honest with him/her. However, do so in a non judgmental way. Your child has deemed this person important enough for you to get to know. So, be open and honest with your child’s new partner as well. Try to accept this person at least temporarily for who he/she appears to be. Chances are his/her values are not that dissimilar from your own. Also, the old saying don’t judge a book by its cover definitely applies here, regardless of the person who arrives at your home.
Be understanding about your child wanting to date
Try to understand that your child’s taste in a significant other may not be the same as yours. However, you should try to be understanding to the fact that this person obviously has some personality traits that attracted your child to him/her. So, taking the time to find out what these are may provide you with a better grasp of who this person is and why your child thinks he/she is so important. Also, try to keep in mind your reaction to this person may be just what your child is looking for to make a more long-term decision about this person.
You know your child…
Overall, only you know your child. Although you may think you know what is best for your child, at this point in your child life, he/she may no longer be receptive to your teaching or protecting them. This is the time when you should be there for guidance. However, you must remember that your advise should only be offered upon request. Giving unwanted advise, may push your child away from you at a time when he/she may need you the most. Also, depending on your child’s age, you should avoid telling him/her who he/she should or should not date. This may actually cause undue stress and rebellion.
Be a little open minded
Keep your mind open to your child’s attractions and desires, within reason. Although you may only be trying to protect your child from emotional hurt, he/she may reject your opinion regarding his/her date. This does not mean that you are wrong; however, you must remember you can protect your child from everyone except themselves.
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