My daughter is in high school and she's really becoming an outgoing, energetic woman. And since she does so well in school, I have given her space when hanging out with friends, going to parties, etc. I was in her bedroom the other day putting her clothes on her bed and saw her diary sticking out from underneath the mattress. I thought to myself if I'm not ready to face my daughter's secrets head on, then I should completely ignore the book. But, I felt like I was prepared. So, I went through her diary and in it she talks about having sex with a young boy on numerous occasions. It doesn't say anywhere if she's using protection. She seems to really like this guy but he's older than she is. I've never met him before. I think this may become a rocky road she's going down and I want to be there for her should anything happen. I do want to say something to her, but I don't want her to know that I went through her diary. How can I consult my daughter on this phase on her life without giving myself away?
3 Replies
Sexnthecity2000 / Woman / Likes Men / Single
You already went through the diary, and now you are faced with two options—to fess up to your daughter about what you read, or pretend like you didn’t read anything. That is up to you as a mother. No matter what you choose, it is wise that you sit down and have a talk with your daughter. I am not sure what you have already told your daughter about sex, but since you know she is in a sexual relationship, it is important that she is seen by a gynecologist, and educated about STDs and pregnancy. This might be a really uncomfortable talk for you to have, but not as uncomfortable as if she were to become pregnant, or catch a STD. I do not know where you stand on the issue of pre-marital sex, and what you have talked about with your daughter in the past, but the number one priority needs to be her health and keeping her safe. Have a frank, honest discussion with your daughter and let her know you are there is she needs to confide in you, ask questions, or seek help. Hopefully she will open up to you.
Justmexo / Woman / Likes Men / Single
I would not approach her directly. Maybe try and kindly ask questions about her life but nothing to serious that would make her think you went thru her stuff and know EVERYTHING. You need her to trust you and she needs to trust that you will be there for her. Make sure you don't break that trust because it may get worse if that occurs just spite. I would say play it cool and remain observant yet be alert for chances to ask questions in a "cool mom" way.
Upsetdaughter / Woman / Likes Men / Single
My mother was in the same situation as you. She was cleaning up my room but my journal just happened to "fall" and open to the exact page where I wrote about sex. She then read the rest my journal and ripped the pages out where I had said I had sex with my boyfriend with a note that said, 'We need to talk.' I was furious. She had no right to do that. I understood her concern but to do that was complete violation of my trust. It's been a couple years but I still remember it and I do not like to share things with her as much as I did I refuse to. Call it a grudge. We ended up having a huge fight and I didn't speak to her for a couple of weeks.
It would have been a better decision on her part if she just ignored it and then talked to me like an adult about sex. That would have not been as awkward as what happened instead.
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