When you’re in a relationship one decision you’re sure to have to make at some point is with whom and where to spend holidays. If you’re both close to your families and look forward to spending time with them on special occasions, dealing with issues of this nature can be particularly contentious. But holidays should be joyous times of celebration, not fraught with tension and disagreements. If you and your partner address these issues before the holidays are just around the corner, then you’ll be better able to celebrate without any drama or recrimination.
Spending holidays apart
If the relationship you’re in is a fairly new one, there are a couple of good options to consider regarding where to spend the holidays. One possible choice is to agree to go your separate ways for the holidays. But you don’t have to spend the entire occasion mooning over not being with your sweetie. If you go this route, be sure to schedule regular phone calls or web conferences so that you can both enjoy each other’s long distance company and hear about the memories your significant other is making with his or her family. It also might be worth your while to set aside a time just before or after the actual holiday to celebrate the occasion together privately. And if it’s a gift-giving holiday like Christmas, consider sending an extra little gift to the house of your paramour’s parents so that he or she will have a nice little surprise even if you planned to exchange presents privately with one another at a different time.
Alternating between families
If, however, you’re in a long-term relationship with someone, you have a couple of great options for dealing with this situation. One is to make arrangements to alternate where you spend major holidays. For instance, maybe you’ll do Thanksgiving with his parents and Christmas with hers this year, then do the opposite the following year. If your Christmas plans are a particularly touchy subject, consider calling this period the “winter holidays” and making arrangements to visit one set of parents on Christmas and the other on New Year’s, which is another fabulous time for a celebration just a couple of weeks later.
Celebrating with just the two of you
Another option for those in a long-term relationship is to establish your own traditions and places of celebration. This could take the form of inviting both sets of parents to your place for a holiday, and it could also mean choosing to celebrate alone or with friends and then visiting each set of parents independently at a time other than the traditional seasonal celebrations. You could, in fact, celebrate Christmas in July!
Something to remember
Whatever you decide to do, remember that the holidays are a time to celebrate and shouldn’t be fraught with tension or scrambling all over the country so that you get to spend a little time with anyone. You’ll have a far more enjoyable holiday season if you’re relaxed and not under pressure to pack in as much as you can in a short time frame.
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