I used to be a sex worker for three years. It was a great way to make money and my clients were nothing less than gentlemen. I'm no longer in the business and I'm dating again. However, I get anxious when I start to fall for a guy because then I don't know if I should tell him about my past. I personally see nothing wrong with being a sex worker and I feel like I want to meet someone who wouldn't have any hang-ups about it either. But, I know men always get nervous when they hear about that sort of thing and I just don't know what to expect. I don't want to keep getting rejected for a part of my life that I'm not ashamed of. How do I tell men I've been a sex worker in a way that won't leave me alone on Friday night?
2 Replies
Dan / Woman / Likes Men / Single
If you're not ashamed, then don't act ashamed. Tell him it's in your past, and if he doesn't believe you, his loss. And if that leaves you alone on a Friday night...there's always Saturday night.
Sexnthecity2000 / Woman / Likes Men / Single
Some people are not going to be accepting of your past, while others are. Are you opening up about this on the first date, or are you waiting a bit into the relationship? I would not discuss this on a first date, as it might scare men away. Let them get a chance to know the real you, your personality, likes and dislikes, and see if there is anything there. Once you’ve gone out of a few times, when they start to ask about your past (and before you have slept together), that is the time to discuss your time as a sex worker. Let them ask questions; some men may have experience or know someone in that business, while others might find themselves flabbergasted. In case they just sit there and stare at you, prepare a little speech to tell them about it, without going in to all the gory details: why you did it, when, how long, and that you practiced sex safe. I assume you have been tested since then; assure them that you are clean and disease-free (maybe that is what scares the men away?) and that being a sex worker is no longer part of your life, but that you are looking for something else and a meaningful relationship. This still might scare some guys off, but you are doing the right thing by being open and honest with anyone you are considering a real relationship with. You will find the right person, who both respects you and can leave the past where it should be—in the past.
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