Things Not To Say During Sex

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Your sister looked pretty today.
Those bumps aren't contagious.
Is that smell coming from you?
Haven’t you ever done this before?
What’s your name again?
You should read a book on this.
A second time? I barely stayed awake the first time.
Smile for the camera!
I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.
Hold on, let me change the channel.
Should I pay you now or later.
You must have had sex with alot of people.
But you just started!
Hold on, I have to call my mother.
Is it in yet?
Are those real?
Have you tried using any vaginal fragrances?
What, oh yea, I love you too, now let me concentrate!
All of a sudden I have a headache
Of course you can’t be on top, you’re too fat, you’ll kill me!
Does your family have to watch?
You wanted me to use a condom?
Mooooo!
On second thought, let’s turn out the lights.
I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.
Just use your finger, it’s bigger.
You woke me up for that?ook on this stuff.
Want to see me take out my glass eye?
It’s nice being in bed with a woman I don’t have to inflate.
Maybe you’re just out of practice.
(phone rings) Hello? Oh nothing and you?
I thought that goes in the other hole
I'm recording this...I hope you don't mind.
Can you finish now? I have a meeting
Damn! Is that all you know how to do?
Did I tell you I have herpes?
Hurry up, the game’s about to start.

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