Much is made of the art of flirting. Determining what kind of flirt you are is based on a variety of factors. Your approach to this time-honored courtship ritual, however, is the most telling factor. That is, there are two basic approaches to flirting: obvious and subtle. Both can be appropriate depending on the social situation and the person with whom you are flirting.
Are you an obvious flirt?
Being an obvious flirt doesn’t necessarily mean using a tired old line like “What’s your sign?” or “Is heaven missing an angel?” Rather, obvious flirts often give the impression of being very comfortable with themselves because of the style of their flirting. This can certainly work to their advantage, especially when they are flirting with someone who is attracted to a person who has a strong sense of self-assuredness and confidence. Further, if their flirting is spurned they often take an approach of “no skin off my back” when they realize the other person is not interested.
Problems with being an obvious flirt
Obvious flirts can, on occasion, have so much confidence that they don’t take the time to read the body language of the person with whom they are flirting. This can become a problem if the flirting is unwanted or inappropriate. For instance, a little sexual innuendo while flirting can be fine, but an obvious flirt has to be careful not to get too carried away and start and go overboard or be offensive. Reading body language and being tuned into the other person’s reaction is especially important for obvious flirts so that they don’t cross any lines of what the other person might consider inappropriate.
What about the subtle flirts?
Subtle flirts, however, are a whole different breed. Keep in mind, though, that a subtle flirt doesn’t have to necessarily be shy, and he or she can still have plenty of self-confidence. The main difference between a subtle flirt and an obvious flirt is that the former is a little more smooth in his or her approach. Their flirting generally comes off more as conversational and usually less aggressive, and very often they know when to back off if the flirting is unwanted. Subtle flirts can be just as effective as their obvious counterparts, but their approach is generally far more laid back and has an aura of no expectations.
Some thoughts on flirting in general
Flirting is not, of course, a courtship ritual that’s done only in person. Rather, flirting can be accomplished in a variety of other ways. Many people who are too shy to flirt in person are far more skilled at and comfortable with flirting with the written word. Text messages, emails, Tweets, Facebook comments: all of these can be great venues for people who are not as skilled at face to face flirting. If the written word is not your cup of tea either, body language can be a very effective flirting technique. A sweet smile, the cock of your head, biting your bottom lip: all of these intimate interest and can be employed without words.
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