Everyone’s biggest fear about a first date is that they’ll meet up with the person and have absolutely nothing to say. The fear and nerves about meeting someone new can often cause you to be tongue-tied. Below is a list of questions that works as a twofold: you won’t have any awkward silences and you’ll get to know your date better.
Question 1: What Are You Looking For In a Partner/Relationship?
Ask this in a nonchalant manner, as to not put your date on the spot. It’s good to get this question out there so that neither of you are under false pretenses. At the same time, it’s not as extreme (or scary) of a question as, “When do you want to get married and have kids?” You want to know what your date’s expectations are, and you want your date to know yours. If you’re looking for two completely different things then you know that the relationship won’t go further. You don’t want to be surprised later on in the relationship that your partner never wants to have kids, or other important issues. If you know right away what he/she is looking for then you can make an informed decision as to whether or not you want to continue seeing them.
Question 2: What Are the Biggest 1st Date Mistakes Someone Could Make?
Not only will this question add some lightheartedness to the conversation, but you can also get some insight into deal breakers of the opposite sex. More importantly, you’ll find out more about what your date likes and doesn’t like. You will find out what lines you should or should not cross with your date, and perhaps you’ll learn some tips for your next first date (if this person is not “the one”).
Question 3: Have You Ever Had Your Heart Broken?
This question will help you get to know someone on a deeper level, but it is not too personal that your date will feel violated. This will also give both of you the chance to see the softer side of someone, which is nice when one (or both) of the individuals seem overly strong. Likewise, learning about your date’s past experiences will teach you what buttons you shouldn’t press with him/her. If you start a relationship with this person, knowing about a heart-break will often give you some insight into insecurities or trust issues that your date has.
Question 4: What is One Of Your Quirks or Guilty Pleasures?
Asking your date this question is sure to bring out some laughs, and you want to show him/her that you have a sense of humor. Even though this is a fun question, it will give the two of you a sense of intimacy. Sharing your imperfections with someone allows them to get to know you on a deeper level, because you’re giving them a glimpse below the surface. Plus, they will feel like you’re sharing a secret with them and that helps to build a bond between you.
Question 5: What Is Your Family and/or Best Friend Like?
This question will tell you where your date comes from. Knowing about family and friends will give you some insight into how your date grew up, values that were instilled, religion, ethnicity, etc. If the two of you get serious then you’re going to have to get to know these people, so it’s important to know whether or not you’re going to fit in with them. Plus, asking about family and friends will open the doors to hear some funny stories, and you’ll find out how important family is to that person.
Questions To Avoid
There are many questions that you shouldn’t ask on a first date but here are a couple of the more common ones. Do not ask anything along the lines of, “Your place or mine?” (unless your date brings it up). Do not ask your date how many sexual partners he/she has had, and don’t ask about their grooming style. Don’t ask anything too direct about getting married or having kids. Do not ask how much money your date makes.