Our only daughter has started college and she had promised her mother that she would email and send us pictures every weekend. Last weekend, we got the email and over 100 pictures of the college campus, her dorm, etc. She accidentally included 2 pictures of her performing oral sex from the male's viewpoint. I tried to delete the pictures before my wife saw them, but she did and went nuts. I argued our daughter is now an adult, she's at college and she can't get pregnant doing oral sex. My wife is angry and expected her to wait until she was married. I countered maybe she is waiting, but needs to do something (she is dressed in the 2 pictures) I've tried to stop my wife from calling our daughter until she calms down. Our daughter is pretty shy and it took some confidence building to get her to go to college, I don't know how she would respond if my wife attacked her. And advice on what more I can say to my wife?
2 Replies
Advice_from_an_auntie / Woman / Likes Men / Single
since your daughter was dressed I would also check with your daughter (maybe you, since your wife is freaked out), as to whther it was willing and consensual. It may have been a hazing thing. I would call her and say thanks for the photos, and reveal that there were two photos in that set that caused you some concern. She will hold her breath and ask what - if she is aware that they are on there. then reveal that they were kind of compromising, without describing them. see what she says. she may be innocent if she was drugged and it was a set up. Or maybe this is another side of her that you guys have not been aware of. Be concerned, not accusatory. Say that you love her and you want the best for her, and you hope she understands that circulating photos of herself is something she may regret in the future. don't focus on whether she did or she didn't. it's done, and if Heaven is right, she will feel pretty conflicted and be worried about her love and support from you.
AskMyGF / 22 / Woman / Likes Men / Single
You've sort of said it all. I'm a college student myself, and sex just sort of happens around here. If she's shy naturally, she may be trying to fit in by doing things along those lines. In all honesty, your wife has to be a little naive if she believes that your daughter was just going to wait. It's a good thing to keep in mind, but it rarely happens. I was raised in a devoutly Christian household (as indicated by my name) and I was performing oral in high school. I married the only man I have ever done that for, but you get my point. Kids just have sex.
I think your wife is just beyond shocked right now, and she doesn't know how to react. She thinks she's done a bad job raising your daughter or something like that. That's what my mom thought when I told her I had strayed from my religion. It took awhile to get passed that.
In any event, I would simply remind your wife about how good of a child your daughter has always been. If she has never done anything like this before (that you know of), she's just trying to find herself. Hell, she may even drink or try drugs. Gasp!
It's just the reality of parenthood. Your wife will eventually have to accept that, which is hard for women as a whole. Be with both of them through this adjustment phase. It's all you can do.
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