I wrote in last month and got some solid advice from you, who is very close to my daughters age. My question was about how our daughter had sent us over 100 pictures of her college campus and in the group were two pictures of her performing oral sex from the male's viewpoint. My wife saw them before I could delete them. I managed to persuade her not to say anything to our daughter.
One of your readers added a comment and wondered if it was some sort of hazing that was going on. I had thought about this and emailed our daughter Sunday morning. She called me when her mother was out shopping. We talked and I could tell something was bothering her. She finally told me that the competition to get into a sorority was so intense that she would have to basically wait years to get into one or she could perform oral sex on one of the fellows from the frat house tied to the sorority and get to the head of the list.
I was shocked to hear this and asked her if she was sure about what she was doing. I asked her how could she be sure that she would get in next year. She said the president of the sorority promised all the girls who were there and did it, that they would get in.
I was even more shocked to hear that "all the girls" and I asked about condoms. She said they weren't allowed and that the guys only pulled out after they were completely "finished" with their stuff. I was very angry and sad to hear that, she noted my angry and said that all the fellows are dating girls already in the sorority and that they were all clean and whatnot.
I am so pissed that I am paying for my daughter's college so she can be forced to perform oral sex on an asshole and swallow his load. I kept my cool, but I can't imagine being in a sorority is worth doing that. My daughter went on to say about how doors would open for her, but I told her that they would open by hard work and brains, not by doing things for people.
I finally asked her why were they taking pictures. She said there's webpage up at the sorority, which she saw, that had over 60 girls that performed oral sex on their frat brothers. They keep it as a record to know who to take next year.
I did the math in my head and there's no way the sorority could take 60 girls a year, so I'm afraid our daughter was used. I was also stunned to hear that 60 freshmen girls would do such a thing so readily.
Maybe I'm too far out of touch with how things are today. Am I nuts? I want to call the college, but again, I don't want to make my daughter out to be a black sheep at the school.
I don't know what to do, I don't want to make things hard on her. She did consent to do what she did, so I don't know how far I could take this. I belonged to a frat, but not the frat involved and I know the politics are tough on campus.
Any thoughts or advice is greatly welcomed from someone closer to my daughters age.
5 Replies
AskMyGF / 22 / Woman / Likes Men / Single
No, you're not nuts. It's not right. Period. I normally don't refer people to other questions i've answered, but I think these will help you:
http://www.askmygirlfriend.com/oral-s...
http://www.askmygirlfriend.com/oral-s...
That is part one and two of a question from a girl who was going through this hazing procedure. I'm not in a sorority, nor have i ever wanted to be in one, but I don't see any reason whatsoever that a club could be so good that you have to compromise your body and your integrity to get in. There are PLENTY of other groups to get involved in with college that don't require dick sucking whatsoever. Language clubs, band, cheerleading, study groups...hell, Bible groups even. She's got options beyond this one group.
A lot of girls join sororities because they think it will increase their opportunities later on. The sorority is a source of connections for good jobs, events, breaks, etc. She could lose any and all of those opportunities if someone sees her sucking dick online. Talk about a way to ruin a career, and I say this as a former sex chat model.
I can't say there isn't pressure because there is. There are ways around it though. She's obviously not a bad girl. I remember you talked about how good she was in your other question. She's just trying to fit in in the wrong way.
If I were you, I would seriously have a talk with your daughter and bring up the fact that no sorority could possibly be worth something like that. If she becomes one of the leaders for the group, she will then be one of the ones forcing other girls to do this. Does she really want to pass that on?
Don't do anything about it personally until your daughter is ready. That WILL make her a black sheep. This is something she has to tackle on her own, but you should support and guide her as much as you possibly can.
I'm so sorry about all of this, but I wish you all the best. Feel free to ask whatever you want to here. Thanks.
AskMyGF / 22 / Woman / Likes Men / Single
Daaaaamn I wrote a lot...haha. Sorry for the novel :)
Beth / Woman / Likes Men / Single
I did the same thing two years ago. I felt like shit for doing it, but it got me into a sorority and there are major benefits for being in one. I don't recommend it for everyone, but NOTHING is going to stop me from my dreams. If I have to suck dick to get there, so be it. I'm sure that won't be the last dick I have to suck to get ahead in the world.
AskMyGF / 22 / Woman / Likes Men / Single
You don't have to suck dick to get somewhere in life...just fyi. I've got a beautiful house, fantastic cars, a great husband, a good career...all while still being a 21 yr old college student. I make more money that a LOT of grads do, and I love my life in its entirety. I've never had to suck dick to get to the top. I'm not trying to make you feel bad by any means, but I'm letting you know that you are better than that. No woman has to be prey to a cock to get somewhere. We're stronger than that. Same goes for men in reverse of course :)
Steve / Woman / Likes Men / Single
My wife did the same thing three years ago. She's gorgeous, 38 DD -24-36 and made them get an HIV test first. They didn't want to bother, but one look at my wife and they agreed to it. We talked about it after she was told what they wanted her to do, it pissed me off beyond belief. I think I was more upset than she was and she tried to throw up afterward, but they kept her talking afterward that by the time she got home, we figured it was all digested. She got into the sorority and she did get special treatment on campus.
After she graduated, she got a job at a major insurance company because of sorority connections and we just had our first baby last year, a beautiful baby girl. So, I was far from happy about what Kim had to do to get into a sorority. But it gave her the edge and she's been promoted. I know life sucks sometimes.
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