My gf has a big problem with pornography. Really she has a big problem with porn when i watch it. there have been times that we flipped to the naughty channels at night and watched something because it made her hornier. which is great except for the fact that when breasts would come into the picture she would immediately tell me to stop looking and check if i was hard. if i am even semi she gets upset and everything stops. I enjoy watching porn and i still want to watch it even after a year and a half of being with her. how can i get her to watch porn with me and see that me getting hard is a good thing.
Also one time her roommate had sex in the room right next to us. we both listened and giggled when she would make noises like little school girls but then she checked if i was hard and of course i was. She started crying and we got in a fight and obviously nothing happened that night. help me make her more understanding.
13 Replies
GG / 32 / Woman / Likes Women / Married
Right been here in your girlfriends shoes. My first question is how old are you both?
AskMyGF · I have been too. I used to get jealous when my husband (boyfriend at the time) watched porn or even fantasized about another woman, mainly because I looked nothing like those girls. He just kept reassuring me over and over and over that he wasn't with them...he was with me. They were nothing more than a fantasy, and that's something that guys naturally have more than women. Over time, I began to encourage him to watch porn, especially around me. Got me in the mood and helped me see what he liked. I'll even, dare I say, blow my husband with porn on in the background now. Gasp! :-P
Kevin · hopefully my gf can change the way you did. lol... i am 19 she is 22.
GG · The reason i ask this is because she may grow out of it. I did. I used to get terribly jealous when i was in my 1st relationship (aged 14-23 yrs), he was my first full sexual partner and so a touch of immature niavety creeps in. You think you are the only thin in the world that can give your perfect bf an erection. It's only later on that you realise that it's not the woman per se that's causing your bf's reaction but that all men are typically led by their cocks. Strangely i had a discussion with my fiance about that last night, anyway i digress. There is also the issue of previous bf's. Was she treated badly in a passed relationship i.e told she's not sexy or pretty etc? That can have an effect for a long time. All of these things can affect how she see's the situation. You need to reassure her LOTS!! Tell her you don't want to have sex with the girl on tv or the room mate next door but what these incidents do to you is put you in mind of scenarios you'd like you and your gf to be in. Talk to her and ask her bluntly what's the problem, if she refuses to say then you could wait patiently for a bit but don't wait forever. You don't want to be in a relationship where you feel wrong for doing or watching the things you enjoy (been there too lol).
GG · Haha the Heaven/ Gudgurl post combo strikes again!! Muhahaha
GG · I do that too Heaven. Tut tut, the shame of us hehehe!
Kevin · no she wasnt hurt in her previous relationship. she does have a terrible self image that isnt being help by that fact that she is the biggest she has ever been (not a problem for me, i still love her and get very aroused by her). her problem is that she believes that she is the only one that should ever cross my mind. we actually had a HUGE fight when i told her that wasnt the case ( not like i think of anyone else during sex just that looking at other women can get me hard). Everytime we watched porn al i could say was exactly what i should have. "I still think of you" "i care about you not them" blah blah blah. im worried about bringing it up again bc i dont want to get into that fight again.
GG · Unfortunately if she's not willing to see things as you explain it this fight will keep happening. It's not something you should keep quiet about if it's something you both potentially enjoy. You can't agree to watch porn as long as you don't get a hard on because that's impossible. You also cannot agree to never watch it again just because she has a problem with herself. Majority of women have this problem, we all have self image blips from time to time (i think i have one every month lol), all you can do is tell her you love her as she is and she is very sexy and she still arouses you but if there's anything you can do to help her with her self image issues you'll help her.
Kevin · i always try to reassure her that she is the only person i want and she is beautiful. Also we have stopped watching anything with "exposure". i think it would be worse if i randomly bring it up. If i "happen to stumble upon" something then bring up the subject, would that be smart?
GG · You could approach it that way, just tread carefully. Are you happy to have stopped watching anything with "exposure".
Kevin · i still want to so not really. i can live with it though
GG · Relationships are all about compromise and respect. Just be careful it's not the beginning of a slippery slope with your gf.
Kevin · hopefully it wont be. thanks
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