My Boyfriend's Best Friend Is a Girl. How Can I Deal With That?

It’s hard to accept that your boyfriend occasionally likes to spend his time with another girl, even if that girl has been his best friend for years.  Sometimes it’s better to join in the fun rather than to try to spoil the game. But the general coping of the situation is enough to drive some girls crazy, so here are some tips when you r boyfriend’s best friend is a girl:

Assessing the situation from the start

Quite often you understand your boyfriend has a deep friendship with another girl long before you start to view your own relationship with him as a serious one.  In that respect, you are only getting into something you knew about right from the beginning, and it is at the start of such relationships that you need to assess whether you can tolerate your boyfriend’s friendship with a girl; not at the end, when you both could end up very hurt by a possible break up. You know yourself and what you are able to comfortably manage in terms of tolerance of your boyfriend’s other commitments to his friends, especially if one of them is a girl. Respond to your instincts.

Understanding their relationship

Further problems might arise if the girl is outstandingly attractive physically and has no boyfriend of her own.  Even the most long term friendships can blossom into something deeper ,and if your boyfriend’s friend is single, it somewhat opens possibilities further that your boyfriend might succumb to temptation to turn the friendship into flirtation.

Whatever the possibilities are in a situation like this, the reality is that people who are only friends usually prefer to retain the friendship rather than risk losing it by entering into a romance with a long term buddy.  The friendship, in most cases, is more valuable to both parties than a quick fling and intelligent people have certain emergency barriers to put up should temptation rear its ugly head.

Figuring out if he likes her

Take the facts for what they are and assess your situation sensibly.  Does your boyfriend flirt with his female friend and if so, is it any more than a passing tease that they have both indulged in for years?  If so, why spoil what they have and incidentally, spoil what you have, for the sake of your own prejudice and intolerance?   Try to analyze the situation carefully and logically to determine if there’s more than just friendship there.

Being friends with the girl

Make an effort to be friends with your boyfriend’s girl buddy and try to find out a little of what she means to him.  There is every possibility that you might have plenty in common with her and get along like the proverbial house on fire.  If you do not, try not to be too demanding about how much time your boyfriend spends in her company.  His tastes in friends might be completely different to your own and there is no reason why he should not spend time with his friends separate to you, whatever their sex.

When you are out socially, do not exclude your boyfriends female friend from being part of your social circle; this will only alienate your boyfriend and their friendship will be intact however much you disapprove.

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