Why do some women enjoy being choked or slapped during sex?

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I have noticed that many women like to be physically abused during sex, such as being choked or slapped by their lover. Some women say that it makes their orgasm better due to a lack of oxygen to their brain, while others say it just adds excitement. Some people say that it is a way for males to show control and dominance during sexual intercourse. All of these may be true, or none of them, I really don't know, so I thought I'd see what you girls have to say here at "askmygirlfriend".

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16 Replies

TGD
TGD / 22 / Man / Likes Women / In a relationship

Yeah, it sounds like you're referring to rough sex. There's always a difference between rough sex, and hard fucking. Some women like rough sex; the choking, slapping, being bound/tied/restrained, talked down to, face fucking, nipple clamps; all of that dominance. I personally find that type of sex to be unattractive and too demeaning. Then there are women who just like hard fucking; ass slapping, some hair pulling, getting pounded, dirty talk, face sitting, sloppy blowjobs, maybe a little forceful deepthroat, some nipple pinching. I like partaking in all of that occasionally, if the woman I'm with happens to be into that. It can all be incredibly erotic.

So as long as she's into the rough sex, and you two discuss what's appropriate, what the limit is, then I say go for it. If it gets both of you off and you can do it in a safe and controlled way, then it's alright, not my idea of good sex and I don't really understand how people can be into it, but everyone is different.

about 1 year ago · 1 Like
Lily Drakondia

Lily Drakondia · I like one or two of the actions from each of the categories. Choking's kind of like a death threat in my vocabulary, and death threats don't fly. I've choked a guy in the bed. We weren't in the middle of sex, although he wanted. I didn't kill him, but if I could, I might have, if I had to. He stopped doing what he was trying, so after that .. we both stayed alive. Yeah, choking doesn't get my clit wanting nor make me wet. I been slapped in the face one time. It was a "lover". He was surprised at himself and apologized to me and never hit me again nor before. It was not during sex. It did not turn either of us on to my recollection (all these things were so many years ago). We stayed together quite a while longer and it had little or no affect on our sex-life. I think we still had about the same amount of attraction for each other. Maybe it made me think about leaving him and might have led to me eventually doing so. Yeah, I'm not used to face slapping. It kind of feels like something a woman would do to a man more than a man to a woman. Last time I bumped into him he introduced me to his children he's had since and he wanted me to talk with his parents, gave me his business card to contact him to do so. He was acting like I was important? I didn't do it (contact him). Hair pulling, pounding, things like that can be erotic and a turn on and a lol reason have more sex like that. One long term boyfriend, I wrote it somewhere else on this forum, after about two years or three living together he tied and restrained me in doing so and to do so a few times to have sex with me. It was good. I liked it. He did too. So, I guess it's a mixed bag with me.

TGD

TGD · Definitely a mixed bag : )

Lily Drakondia

Lily Drakondia · hahahaha

Shakira
Shakira / 18 / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship

So long as the situation is appropriate and the woman is happy with it and has given consent it is fine.... Safe words should be used also! Some women do not find the concept of dominance appealing however many women find this to be a huge turn on. I for one, think that it is very sexy and like the idea of being controlled.

Choking, is an idea I am not so keen on (have never actually been choked) because it seems slightly dangerous and painful in a bad way!

However, spanking is such a turn on. My explanation for the appeal of this is that when a guy uses a woman, she feels sexy and attractive in a different way to usual. Mild pain from spanking generally is a turn on and restriction can be great too if the guy knows what he's doing in terms of controlling the girl.

Hope that helps!

about 1 year ago
CB

CB · He said "slapping" not "spanking" - two totally different things!! Not to mention being physically abused and being dominated can also fall in to two very different categories!!

Shakira

Shakira · okay well slapping then, it doesnt really matter haha and yes of course they do but im talking about dominance with concent.... not abuse in a situation where the girl is unhappy and tortured!!!

CB

CB · I get what you are talking about but the topic of the question was physical abuse.

Shakira

Shakira · what is the definition of that? i always think its 'wrong' and interpreted this question as kind of rough/hardcore sex

CB

CB · I totally get what you are talking about with the rough/hardcore sex and I find it a huge turn on as well from time to time. I could be wrong but I think he is referring to women who actually enjoy being physically abused and hurt!! Like "real" physical abuse!!

Shakira

Shakira · qoq that's quite intense haha

Shakira

Shakira · *wow

eJefe
eJefe / 48 / Man / Likes Women / Single

I've never met anyone that wanted to be choked, but several that wanted to be spanked as hard as possible, that wanted hair pulling, brutally hard ass-fucking, verbal degradation, and rape role play.

My best guess it that they feel comfortable asking for such things with me and wish to push the limits and explore their bounderies of sexual pleasure. The best bet is to play along if you can...certainly don't do things that make you uncomfortable, but be open minded. The woman that wants to be treated like a dirty anal whore on Saturday may want a gentle love-making session on Wednesday and just a quicky on Thursday. It's all about the mood, where you're at in your realtionship, and whatever is going on in her brain at the moment. Good luck!

about 1 year ago
CB
CB / 31 / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship

I've never been slapped or choked during sex and I would never want to!!! I've been slapped on the ass but I'm guessing your question is referring to being slapped in the face.

about 1 year ago
TrueLoveSwallows
TrueLoveSwallows / Man / Likes Women / Single

It is just another way of demeaning women in porn. Just like taking your dick out of her ass and putting it in her mouth.

about 1 year ago
Lily Drakondia
Lily / 48 / Woman / Likes Men / Just looking

I've never been slapped during sex. I don't want to be either.

I have been choked during sex. I don't like it. It did not help orgasm.

about 1 year ago
Onetimeuseronly

by Onetimeuseronly

Man / Likes Women / Single

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